Humor

MOBIL APA ???

MOBIL-MOBIL APA YANG GAS NYA ADA DI BELAKANG?????
JMOBIL PENGANKUT GAS ELPIJI.


Mobilku
Di tengah jalan, ban belakang Joko toba-tiba kempes.
Lalu Jaka mendatanginya.
Jaka : Jok, ngapain lu berhenti di tengah jalan? Ke pinggir dong!
Joko : Jak, lu bantuin dorongin dong!
3 jam kemudian, baru mobil Joko bisa diangkat ke pinggir jalan pakai mobil derek.
Jaka : Jok, kenapa lu berhenti?
Joko : Ban belakangnya kempes! Dan cepet gundul!
Jaka : Sekarang lu tau gak kenapa ban belakang mobil cepet gundul dan kempes?
Joko : Kenapa?
Jaka : Karena ban belakang terus berpikir gimana bisa menyusul ban depan!
Joko : Oh iya ya...

tak ada yg abadi
ohh .. biarkan aku melempar dirimu
sejenak sebelum mati ,,,

tak kan selamanya pacar itu mendekapmu
tak kan selamanya pacar itu menjagamu
pacar tlah pergi entah kemana
bersiaplah cari pacar lagi ..

heheheheehe² ...

saat terakhir
ini lah saat terakhirku sms kmu
habis sudah pulsaku tinggal seribu
hanya mampu ucapkan bliin aq pulsa

1 jam saja ku telah bisa
sms kamu,kamu,kamu di hape ku
namun bagiku sms kamu
buruh pulsaku sepuluh ribu ..

Tuhan Tolonglah
Oh, Tuhan Tolonglah Aqu
Tuh Singkirkan Kebo Dariku
Si Kebo Bisa Seruduk

Si Kebo Hewan Yang Nakal
Jangan Sampai Dia Di Ngamuk
Tuhan Tolong Diriku

Gelora Asmara (part 2)
Aku Disini
Duduk Manis Makan Lontong
Ada Orang Lagi Nyetong
Bibirnya Monyong

Aku Disini...
Duduk Manis Makan Jengkol
Ada Orang Lagi Nongol
Kau Bisa Ngompol

Garuda Pancasulit
Garuda Pancasulit
Aku Tak Punya Duit
Celana Udah Sempit
Dikeluarin Burung Pipit

Pancasulit Dasar Orang Pelit
Rakyat Memang Suka Sembelit
Membaca Tabloit
Ayo Susah Sweet 3x

bila ku jatuh cinta ver.3
bila kuketiduran
di saat ujian,ku di tonjok guru kuuuuuuuu.....

bila kuketiduran.....
ku melihat cahaya,1000 dewa-dewi petir,menyambet kuuuu.......
semakin ku kejar semakin kau jauh
smakin kau kejar
smakin ku lari
tak pernah henti
berlari lari

terus berlari
namun ku capek
kau kejar lagi

apa salah ku oooooooo
apa dosaku oooooo

idola licik
reff:
Idola licik,idola orang2 licik.......
mari gelapi dunya...,dgn kelicikannya...
Idola licik idola para orang licik......
mari hujani dunya...,dengan kelicikannya
iii...,doo...,laa..,idola licik!




and the anding isssss................


Lagu shincan versi terbaru
Sang beruang tidur.. dan tak ada yang berani ganggu dia..
si kuda datang..dan kuda ganggu beruang....

terima akibatnya... salah siapa ganggu beruang lagi...
kamu aja ganggu bapak loe kena marah...
apa lagi kamu ganggu beruang...
rasain akibatnya...

Biarlah
"Biarlah"

Waktu terus bergulir
Ujian akan berakhir
satu jam lagi..
satu jam lagi...

Berikanlah contekan
Berikanlah jawaban
Hanya untukku..
Hanya untukku...

Tapi Guru melihatku
Tapi Aku harus selesai
Jadi biarkanlah
Aku mncontek kamu..

Reff:

Biarlah kau rela kucontekin
Melihat jawaban

Berikanlah aku kebranian
Untuk mencontek kamu

Kau jauh dariku
Ku tetap melihat jawabanmu 2x

Cheat Playstation 2

Warrior
1, Select, Square, Down, L2, Right                   100% Completion
R1, R2, L1, X, Down, L1                                     200 dollars, 3 pieces of Flash, and some cans.
Square, R2, Down, Down, L1, L1                      Bat
Circle, Circle, Down, R2, L2, Circle                   Bum Advice Upgrade
Down, Square, X, Select, R1, Left                     Complete mission you're on
Square, Circle, Triangle, Select, X, Left           Infinite Rage
down,square,left,x,L1,select                              Infinite sprint
Down, Down, Select, Up, Up, L3                       Knife
Up, Select, X, Triangle, Triangle, Square        Lose cops
L1, X, R1, R1, Select, R2                                    Machete
R2, Circle, Select, Up, L1, Right                       Pipe
L3, L3, Circle, Up, Circle, Select                      Unbreakable Bat
X, L1, Down, Square, Up, X                              Unlock Combat Stamina Upgrade
UP, X, Up, Select, L3, L1                                  Unlock Cuff Drops
Left, X, X, R2, L1, Down                                    Unlock Cuff Key Drops
L2, X, R2, L1, L1, CIRCLE                               Unlock Flash Capacity upgrade
Down, Left, Up, Up, Square, Right                  Unlock Flash Upgrade
R1, R1, L1, R1, L1, UP                                      Unlock Hobo Alliance
L2, Select, Select, Select, Select, Triangle      Unlock Sprint Stamina Upgrade
R3, R2, R1, L3, L2, L1                                      Unlock steel-toe boots
Triangle, Triangle, Triangle, Select, Triangle, R1 Unlock Uncuff self
Right, R1, Circle, X, Select, Square                 Unlock Weapons Dealer
Circle, Circle, Circle, L1, Select, Triangle        Unlocks brass knuckles
Up,Triangle,L3,Select,X,L2                              You have infinite health


Downhill
Right, Triangle, Triangle, Left                         $2,000 Instantly
Down, Left, Left, Right                                     Adrenaline Boost
Down, Square, Square, Left, Circle                 Always Stoked
Down, Triangle, Square, Square, Up              Anti Gravity
Left, Square, Circle, Square, Left                   Combat Free Code
Up, Down, Left, Left, Right                             Combat Upgrade
Down, Right, Right, Left, Left                          Energy Restore
Right, Up, Up, Circle, Circle, Square              Free Money
Up, X, Left, Left, Circle, Circle                        Infinite Bottles
Right, Up, Up, Right, Right, Square               Mega Flip
Down, Triangle, Right, Right, Square            Speed Freak
Down, Left, Left, Right, Right                         Stoke Trick Meter
Left, Square, X, Up, Triangle                          Super Bounce
Up, X, Left, Square, Up                                    Super Bunny Hop
Down, Triangle, Left, Left, Square                 Unlimited Energy
Up, Down, Down, Up, Up, Down, Down         Unlock Everything
Down, Up, Up, Down, Down, Up, Up              Unlock everything

Up, Down, Left, Left, Right, Right                   Upgrade to Bottle

FIFA Street 2 

All Venues

Press and hold the L1 button and the triangle button at the same
time and enter at the main menuCode Effect
LEFT,UP,UP,RIGHT,DOWN,DOWN,RIGHT,DOWN Unlock All Venues


Contributed By: BigDave2191
Fifa Street 2 Cheats

At the main menu enter the followingCode Effect
Hold L1 + Triangle and press Left, Up, Up, Right, Down, Down, Right, Down All locations


Contributed By: infernal_devil
Normal Size

pause the match during gameplay and enter the code while holding L1 + Triangle 
Code Effect
right, right, up, down down, left, right, left players back to normal size


Contributed By: GKs136
Tiny Players

At the main menu, enter:Code Effect
Triangle, square, left, right(2), down, left Tiny Players


Contributed By: BigMichaelD
Unlock all Apparel

To unlock all apparel including shoes simply go to the Main Menu and then enter the codeCode Effect
Hold L1 + Triangle while pressing Right, Right, Left, Up, Up, Up, Down, Left All appearance unlocked


Contributed By: GKs136

Midnight Club 3: DUB Edition

 dfens    Agro (Special Move for SUVs and Trucks)
getheadl    Bunny Ears (On MotorBike Rider)
urbansprawl    Faster Pedestrians
trythisathome    Flaming Head (On MotorBike Rider)
hyperagro    Increase Car Mass In Arcade Mode
ontheroad No damage
getheadk Pumpkin Head (On MotorBike Rider)
getheadj Smiley Face (On MotorBike Rider)
getheadm Snowman Head (On MotorBike Rider)
roadtrip Unlocks All Cities in Arcade Mode
crosscountry Unlocks All Cities in Arcade Mode
allin Zone (Special Move for Sport Bikes, Tuners and Exotics)

Need For Speed Carbon

Down, Up, Left, Down, Right, Up, Square, Triangle. Castrol Cash

Left, Up, Left, Down, Left, Down, Right, Square. Infinite Nitrous
Down, Up, Up, Right, Left, Left, Right, Square Unlimited Crew Charge
Down, Right, Right, Left, Right, Up, Down, Square Unlimited Speedbreaker
Right, Up, Down, Up, Down, Left, Right, Square Unlock NFS:C Vinyl

Up, Up, Down, Down, Down, Down, Up, Square Unlocks Cardboard Box and Driver Vinyl

Ben 10

Cannonbolt, Cannonbolt, Fourarms, Heatblast Dark Heroes

Wildvine, Fourarms, Heatblast, Cannonbolt DNA Force
XLR8 ,Heatblast, Wildvine, Fourarms Invincibility
Cannonbolt,Heatblast,Wildvine,Fourarms Master Control
Wildvine,Fourarms,Heatblast,Wildvine Unlock Alien Forms
Cannonblot, Heatblast, Fourarms, Heatblast Unlock ALL Combos
Heatblast, XLR8, XLR8, Cannonbolt Unlock All Locations on Map

Contributed By: shadowcore76

Twisted Metal Head On

Triangle, Triangle, Down, Down Infinite Weapons

Up, Down, Left, Right, Right, Left, Down, Up Invulnerability
X, X, Up, Up Killer Weapons (Super Damage)
X, Triangle, X, Triangle Mega Guns
Left, Left, Up, Down, Left, Right Radial Blast

Triangle, X, Square, Circle Trade Weapons for Health

Avatar The Last Airbender The Burning Earth

On New Game menu - press L1 - choose Code EntryPassword Effect

28260 1 Hit Dishonor
99801 All Bonus Game
85061 All Gallery Items
90210 Double Damage
65049 Infinite Health
89121 Max Level

66206 Unlimited Special Attacks

GTA SanAndreas

R1, R2, L1 , X, Left , Down, Right, Up, Left, Down, Right, Up $250,000, full health and armor (also repairs cars if you are in one)
RIGHT, R2, UP, UP, R2, CIRCLE, SQUARE, R2, L1, RIGHT, DOWN, L1 Aggressive Drivers
R2, Circle, R1, L2, Left R1, L1, R2, L2 Aggressive Traffic
LEFT, TRIANGLE, R1, L1, UP, SQUARE, TRIANGLE, DOWN, CIRCLE, L2, L1, L1 All Cars Nos
L1, Circle, Triangle, L1, L1, Square, L2, Up, Down, Left All Pedestrians Are Elvis
up,x,triangle,x,triangle,x,square,R2,right all taxis get nitro + jump up when you press L3
L2, RIGHT, L1, UP, X, L1, L2, R2, R1, L1, L1, L1 All Traffic is Junk Cars
Right, R1, Up, L2, L2, Left, R1, L1, R1, R1 All Traffic Lights Stay Green
Triangle, L1, Triangle, R2, Square, L1, L1 All Vehicles Invisible (Except Motorcycles)
SQUARE, L1, R1, RIGHT, X, UP, L1, LEFT, LEFT always midnight (time stuck at 00:00)
x,x,square,r1,l1,x,down,left,x andrenaline mode
L1, L2, L2, Up, Down, Down, Up, R1, R2, R2 Any vehicle you punch this in, can blow up anything like a tank.
SQUARE, RIGHT, SQUARE, SQUARE, L2, X, TRIANGLE, X, TRIANGLE Attracts Prostitutes with Sex Toys/Gimp Suit
Circle, L2, Up, R1, Left, X, R1, L1, Left, Circle Black Traffic
X, Square, Down, X, Square, Up, R1, R1 Calls the nearest ped to get in your car or get on your bike. Only gives a confirmation message if you're in a vehicle and there's a ped nearby.
Square, R2, Down, Down, Left, Down, Left, Left, L2, X Cars Float Away When Hit
square, down, L2, up, L1, circle, up, x, left Cars Fly
Right, R2, Circle, R1, L2, Square, R1, R2 Cars on Water
L2, RIGHT, L1, TRIANGLE, RIGHT, RIGHT, R1, L1, RIGHT, L1, L1, L1 Chaos mode
Triangle, Triangle, L1, Square, Square, Circle, Square, Down, Circle Civilians are fast food workers & clowns, CJ is a clown, cars are pizza scooter, BF Injection, HotKnife, Tug, Quad, etc.
Right, L2, Down, R1, Left, Left, R1, L1, L2, L1 Commit Suicide
R2, L2, R1, L1, L2, R2, Square, Triangle, Circle, Triangle, L2, L1 Destroy Cars
Up, Up, Down, Down, Square, Circle, L1, R1, Triangle, Down. Everyone bikini babes, all cars beach cars, Cj in shorts and flipflops.
Circle, Circle, L1, Square, L1, Square, Square, Square, L1, Triangle, O, Triangle Faster Clock
Triangle, Up, Right, Down, L2, L1, Square Faster Gameplay
R2, Circle, Up, L1, Right, R1, Right, Up, Square, Triangle Flying Boats
R2, X, L1, L1, L2, L2, L2, X Fog
up, up, square, L2, right, x, R1, down, R2, circle Full Weapon Aiming Whilst Driving
Left, Right, Right, Right, Left, X, Down, Up, Square, Right Gang members spawn much faster
Circle, Right, Circle, Right, Left, Square, X Down Gives you an automatic six star wanted level
DOWN, SQUARE, X, LEFT, R1, R2, LEFT, DOWN, DOWN, L1, L1, L1 Hitman In all weapon
square,square,R2,left,up,square,R2,X,X,X Improve Suspension
up, L1, R1, up, right, up, x, L2, x, L1 Increase car speed
L1, R1, SQUARE, R1, LEFT, R2, R1, LEFT, SQUARE, DOWN, L1, L1 Inf Ammo
Down, X, Right, Left, Right, R1, Right, Down, Up, Triangle Infinite health, still hurt from explosions, drowning, and falling.
Down, Left, L1, Down, Down, R2, Down, L2, Down Infinite Lung Capacity
Triangle, R1, R1, Left, R1, L1, R2, L1 Insane Handling
Left, Right, L1, L2, R1, R2, Up, Down, Left, Right Jetpack
Up, Up, Triangle, Triangle, Up, Up, Left, Right, Square, R2, R2 Jump 10 times higher
Triangle, Square, Circle, Circle, Square, Circle, Circle, L1, L2, L2, R1, R2. Jump 100 feet in air on bike
CIRCLE, RIGHT, CIRCLE, RIGHT, LEFT, SQUARE, TRIANGLE, UP Locks wanted level at however many stars you have. They will NEVER increase or decrease, not even with bribes/cheats. Still get attacked in impound.
R1, R1, Circle, R2, Up, Down, Up, Down, Up, Down Lower Wanted Level
SQUARE, L2, X, R1, L2, L2, LEFT, R1, RIGHT, L1, L1, L1 Max All Vehicle stats (Driving, Flying Bike, Cycling)
Triangle, Up ,Up, Left, Right, Square, Circle, Down Max Fat
triangle,up,up,left,right,square,circle,left Max Muscle
L1, R1, TRIANGLE, DOWN, R2, X, L1, UP, L2, L2, L1, L1 Max Respect
CIRCLE, TRIANGLE, TRIANGLE, UP, CIRCLE, R1, L2, UP, TRIANGLE, L1, L1, L1 Max Sex appeal
R2, X, L1, L1, L2, L2, L2, Square Morning
SQUARE, L2, R1, TRIANGLE, UP, SQUARE, L2, UP, X Never become hungry
R2, X, L1, L1, L2, L2, L2, Triangle Night
L2, Up, R1, R1, Left, R1, R1, R2, Right, Down No citizens or cops, only gang members having gun fights
X, Down, Up, R2, Down, Triangle, L1, Triangle, Left No Peds, Hardly any traffic, Parked cars still spawn
R2, X, L1, L1, L2, L2, L2, Down Noon
Left, Left, L2, R1, Right, Square, Square, L1, L2, X Orange Sky
R2, X, L1, L1, L2, L2, L2, Square Overcast
Down, Up, Up, Up, X, R2, R1, L2, L2 Pedestrian Attack (cannot be turned off)
Down, Left, Up, Left, X, R2, R1, L2, L1 Pedestrian Riot (cannot be turned off)
R2, R1, X, Triangle, X, Triangle, Up, Down Pedestrians have weapons
X, L1, UP, SQUARE, DOWN, X, L2, TRIANGLE, DOWN, R1, L1, L1 Peds Attack (Guns)
X X Down R2 L2 O R1 O Square Peds become asian dudes with Katana's. Mostly black cars and motorcycles patrol the streets.
Circle, L1, Down, L2, Left, X, R1, L1, Right, Circle Pink Traffic
Right, L2, L2, Down, L2, Up, Up, L2, R2 Prostitutes pay you instead of you paying them
R1, R1, Circle, R2, Right, Left, Right, Left, Right, Left Raise Wanted Level
DOWN, SQUARE, UP, R2, R2, UP, RIGHT, RIGHT, UP Recruit Anyone (9mm)
R2, R2, R2, X, L2, L1, R2, L1, DOWN, X Recruits Anyone (w/Rockets)
Up, Down, L1, L1, L2, L2, L1, L2, R1, R2 Sand Storm
Triangle, Up ,Up, Left, Right, Square, Circle, Right Skinny
Triangle, Up, Right, Down, Square, R2, R1 Slower Gameplay
Right, Up, R1, R1, R1, Down, Triangle, Triangle, X, Circle, L1, L1 Spawn a Monster
Left, Right, L1, L2, R1, R2, R2, Up, Down, Right, L1 spawn a parachute
Circle, Circle, L1, Circle, Circle, Circle, L1, L2, R1, Triangle, Circle, Triangle Spawn A Rhino
R2, Up, L2, Left, Left, R1, L1, Circle, Right Spawn a Stretch
Down, R1, Circle, L2, L2, X, R1, L1, Left, Left Spawn Bloodring Banger
Circle, L1, Up, R1, L2, X, R1, L1, Circle, X Spawn Caddy
R2, L1, L1, RIGHT, RIGHT, UP, UP, X, L1, LEFT spawn dozer
Right, R1, Up, L2, L2, Left, R1, L1, R1, R1 Spawn Faster Cars
R1, circle, R2, Right, L1, L2, X (2), Square, R1 Spawn Hotring Racer #1
R2, L1, Circle, Right, L1, R1, Right, Up, circle, R2 Spawn Hotring Racer #2
CIRCLE, X, L1, CIRCLE, CIRCLE, L1, CIRCLE, R1, R2, L2, L1, L1 Spawn Hunter
Up, Right, Right, L1, Right, Up, Square, L2 Spawn Rancher
R1, UP, LEFT, RIGHT, R2, UP, RIGHT, SQUARE, RIGHT, L2, L1, L1 Spawn Tanker
Triangle, Triangle, Square, Circle, X, L1, L1, Down, Up Spawns Hydra
Left, Left, Down, Down, Up, Up, Square, Circle, Triangle, R1, R2 Spawns Quadbike
Triangle, Triangle, Square, Circle, X, L1, L2, Down, Down Spawns Vortex
R2, X, L1, L1, L2, L2, L2, Circle Storm
Circle, Up, L1, L2, Down, R1, L1, L1, Left, Left, X, Triangle.  Stuntplane
Up, Left, X, Triangle, R1, Circle, Circle, Circle, L2  Super Punch
TRIANGLE, LEFT, SQUARE, R2, UP, L2, DOWN, L1, X, L1, L1, L1  Traffic is Country Vehicles
L1 L1 R1 R1 L2 L1 R2 Down Left Up  Turns All Vehicles Into Country Vehicles
Down, R2, Down, R1, L2, Left, R1, L1, Left, Right  Unlock Romero
Circle, R1, Circle, R1, Left, Left, R1, L1, Circle, Right  Unlock Trashmaster
R1, R2, L1, R2, Left, Down, Right, Up, Left, Down, Right, Up  Weapons 1
R1, R2, L1, R2, Left, Down, Right, Up, Left, Down, Down, Left  Weapons 2
R1, R2, L1, R2, Left, Down, Right, Up, Left , Down, Down, Down  Weapons 3
L2, DOWN, DOWN, LEFT, SQUARE, LEFT, R2, SQUARE, X, R1, L1, L1  Weather Cloudy